The whole reason your children have parents is to help them work through the issues that God allows into their lives and to teach them to do the work themselves. Too often many parents, myself included, take it personally when their children act foolishly… Remember, they are children, foolishness is bound up in their heart. It is normal for a child to start out foolish, your job is to help them through it, not react to it.
Do your best to be an example to your children of how to overcome these temptations. This is how you can guide them to be men, or women, of God, treating others the way they want to be treated. This is how you equip your children to be poised to make a difference in this world. Much of the world that will surround them, by the time they become adults will behave in a manner contrary to these truths. It is your job, Dad, to set your children up for success.
My temper makes me unapproachable. It chips away at my credibility. It causes people to “walk on eggshells” when they are around me, so as to not step on a land mine that will set off an explosion of my temper. It causes my children to be hesitant to bring their concerns, their problems, and their crisis to me because they are not sure how I will “react.” This is the opposite of what we want as fathers.
When kids speak with all their emotion, they will try to rope you into that emotion. Be careful not to simply fall into the ‘expendable’ emotion that your children are feeling at the moment.
When we react, there is an automatic response (remember the knee-jerk) that will cause whatever happens to be inside you, at that moment, to spill out. If you are frustrated about a situation happening at the office, your children will no doubt experience your anger about that situation even though they are not involved, if you simply react to them. Of course, you would never “intend” for that to happen,
Your kids will fail. Do you explode when they do? It’s important for them to know that they can talk to you when they fail. They will also speak to you inappropriately – they’re kids. I’m not saying allow them to do so, but don’t allow them to shape your attitude, based on their foolishness. Your job is to shape theirs.
The basic idea of what kind of a man your daughter will want, or your son will desire to be, is a byproduct of your example in practical areas of life (not just the “big” areas). It is who you are in everyday life.
My Jewel is very crafty. Not in the sly devious way, but in the inventive ingenuity way. She will often take something from the trash and make a clever thing from it. On my first trip to “The Depot” I noticed the Kids Workshop being given but didn’t think twice about it. Well, this time she noticed it.
Do you ever wonder why girls can be attracted to the “bad boy type” or stay with a man who is hitting them? It is not that their father was exactly the same, but it may often be that her father exhibited a small portion of such behavior (as I have) and the pattern written on her heart isn’t catching the differences.
Children are much better at imitating something that they have seen than obeying a rule or spoken command. Not to mention that when you pontificate (lecture… preach… elaborate) on a regular basis, even with a righteous subject matter, your child(ren) will grow dangerously tired of it, and you will begin the descent toward exasperating them all the quicker.