The way you speak to your children is very important. Whatever temperament God gave you, there will be times when your children will test your patience. This is simply part of God’s design for you that He is accomplishing through your children. It’s common, so don’t be discouraged.
Since I realized the truth about my temper, and my “reactions” I have begun to truly see the truth that an argument cannot continue between me and my children if I stop talking… (this is hard for me). These days, I am putting into practice the truth of what puts out a fire… it’s not fire, it’s water. So, when my child(ren) are heated, I try to stay ‘cool’ and simply discover what the issue is, and ACT accordingly.
I have found, however, that there are specific fires that only grow stronger the more I douse them (this is usually due to a stubborn attitude in the child), and it needs to burn itself out before the child can truly listen to what you have to say. This can be tricky, but sometimes they are “banished” to a place where they won’t catch anyone else on fire… You might call it “time-out without distractions…”
…they don’t get sent to their room, they get sent to my bathroom (the commode is in a room by itself). I have found that there are too many things in their room that lead to them distracting-away the issue instead of being able to come to terms with it. If you do this, be sure, once the fire has burned itself out, to reach a resolution with your child otherwise, it will come back stronger the next time.
The whole reason your children have parents is to help them work through the issues that God allows into their lives and to teach them to do the work themselves. Too often many parents, myself included, take it personally when their children act foolishly… Remember, they are children, foolishness is bound up in their heart. It is normal for a child to start out foolish, your job is to help them through it, not “react” to it.
“Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all you do be done in love.”I Corinthians 16:13
ACT. Don’t React. Be the adult that shows them, by example, how to handle disagreements and disappointments because adulthood is full of these, right?
You can do it!