When kids speak with all their emotion, they will try to rope you into that emotion. Be careful not to simply fall into the ‘expendable’ emotion that your children are feeling at the moment.
When we react, there is an automatic response (remember the knee-jerk) that will cause whatever happens to be inside you, at that moment, to spill out. If you are frustrated about a situation happening at the office, your children will no doubt experience your anger about that situation even though they are not involved, if you simply react to them. Of course, you would never “intend” for that to happen,
Your kids will fail. Do you explode when they do? It’s important for them to know that they can talk to you when they fail. They will also speak to you inappropriately – they’re kids. I’m not saying allow them to do so, but don’t allow them to shape your attitude, based on their foolishness. Your job is to shape theirs.
The basic idea of what kind of a man your daughter will want, or your son will desire to be, is a byproduct of your example in practical areas of life (not just the “big” areas). It is who you are in everyday life.
My Jewel is very crafty. Not in the sly devious way, but in the inventive ingenuity way. She will often take something from the trash and make a clever thing from it. On my first trip to “The Depot” I noticed the Kids Workshop being given but didn’t think twice about it. Well, this time she noticed it.
Do you ever wonder why girls can be attracted to the “bad boy type” or stay with a man who is hitting them? It is not that their father was exactly the same, but it may often be that her father exhibited a small portion of such behavior (as I have) and the pattern written on her heart isn’t catching the differences.
Children are much better at imitating something that they have seen than obeying a rule or spoken command. Not to mention that when you pontificate (lecture… preach… elaborate) on a regular basis, even with a righteous subject matter, your child(ren) will grow dangerously tired of it, and you will begin the descent toward exasperating them all the quicker.
Children are great imitators and they will do what you do, preferences or not. It’s true in food, in sports team loyalty, in political views, and in humor. Did you have to tell your children to cheer for the football team that you enjoy watching? Odds are that they developed the affinity for them simply because you get excited over them. Because “that’s how it works.”
I hope all is well with you and your family. Over the last year I’ve learned much in my own…
If you are the best you, that you can be, then you will be an example for your child(ren) to become what they need to be. You don’t have to go far to be an example to your children, it’s mostly in you already, like I said before!