Kids are smart, they can tell if you are simply going through the motions or if you want to be a part of their lives. Consistency is the key. There is no better way to stay consistent than honesty. When honesty is your compass, you will continue in the same direction at every turn of the path. The following is the working definition that we use to teach our kids honesty:
HONESTY: The courage to BE THE TRUTH in word, and in thought, and in action.
(Honesty is one of the seven pieces that make up the Cassford Code of Conduct*)
Be honest with your kids (not to a fault, but trust that the kids will understand – and they will) and they will learn to be honest themselves. If you made a mistake, tell them. If you truly forgot, but really wanted to remember, tell them that. If you committed a disgraceful act, spoke a wicked phrase, or had an impure motivation, they will be able to relate to you more than you realize. When you are honest with them, they will respect, and look up to you, all the more. This doesn’t mean airing out every piece of dirty laundry in your closet, just when an opportunity presents itself either to teach, or to relate in a time of discouragement, be honest about circumstances God has allowed you to work through.
*As my children were growing, I created a Code of Conduct; specific words to describe what I call a Character of Courage. I wanted my children to have a rock solid character that would stand the test of time, and industry, as the world changes and the school systems can’t keep up with the rapid change of technology — and the jobs that it creates. I have found that an employer is far more likely to teach you how to do the job they have for you if you are responsible, honest, diligent, and kind. I have focused on building strong character convictions in them, and that starts by defining some words… I call it our Code of Conduct. You can find the “Cassford Code of Conduct” on the resource page.