I would like to say a few words about temper. I feel it is important to mention this because engaging with my children is when I saw my temper, that I thought was under control, resurface. Please understand that this is an area that I have “limped” through most of my parenting life, because my stride has been considerably hampered by my lack of self-control – my temper. I say this to my chagrin, but for your benefit because, by the Grace of God, I have learned some all too real truths about what a temper does to the heart of a child.
Proverbs 15:18, “A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.”
Especially if you have girls, your temper can shatter the relationship you have with your child(ren). I think the movie that best portrays the reality of this is “Monsters, Inc.” by Pixar. The main character is a monster named Sully who finds a human child he names Boo. The child is not scared of Sully because “Sully is not her monster” (clever metrics are used matching children to monsters that will scare them the most). About an hour into the movie there is a scene where Boo sees Sully’s “scare demonstration,” which is meant as a teaching tool for other monsters, and she is completely scared of him. She doesn’t even want to come near him. This is not what we want from our child(ren).
Dad you are the hero! You protect, you take care, you provide safety & comfort, and a temper tantrum can dash these ideals into millions of pieces, because you become the object from which they need protecting. You can say, “they know I’ll never hurt them” till you’re blue in the face but if you cause them to question that – even the slightest hint of doubt – they will be afraid of you …and I don’t mean respect.
Do you have a temper? Give it to God. Plead with him to focus your passion on glorifying Him in every situation, and to give you the strength to trust Him with the outcome regardless of what you can see. And though you will fail remember this:
I Peter 4:8, “Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins.”
When you inevitably fail to keep your temper in check, circle back to them, and ask for their forgiveness. Again this will teach them the process, and give them room to make mistakes.
