Have you ever had a computer problem, and had some “genius” IT person ask you, “Is it plugged in?” As simple as this question seems, and as stupid as it may make us feel (especially when the cords are not plugged in appropriately) there is a simple truth to the concept of having the proper connection… and having the connectors actually plugged in.
Just as your computer won’t work if it’s not plugged in right, your family won’t work if dad’s not plugged in appropriately. There is an energy kids get from their dad. Not necessarily one that he has to work to generate. One that is simply inherent in the way he interacts with the kids versus the way Mom does. Both are needed, but currently our society has the mom connection. It’s the dad connection that we seem to be missing.
So, plug in!
How? …I’m glad you asked.
Ask yourself these questions:
- – Does your morning routine involve your kids?
- – Do you greet your children, individually every morning?
- – Do you tell them “Good Night,” …every night?
- – Do you ask them about their day?
- – Do you listen to them talk about what they like?
- – Do you include them in what you must do when they are available?
These questions are not just for the dad of babies and toddlers! But, when your children are into elementary, middle, and (yes, even) high school are you still connecting with them? Connection during the school years becomes even stronger because of the ability to use words, and logic. These are simple, daily connections that are easy to make, and that will lay a foundation for a strong connection.
Beyond the daily routines, we all will have connections with our children in ways that are unique to the two of you. Each of your kids can have a unique connection with you.
These are connection points I have with each of my children:
Mutual Interests
- – Arts and Production (video, stage, art projects)
- – Outdoor activities (camping, hiking)
- – Demonstrative expression (singing, theater)
- – Writing and Storytelling (in school and out – this also includes reading and watching movies)
At what points are your interests the same as your kids?
Similar Tendencies
- – Humor and Wit
- – Compassion and Understanding
- – Silliness and Responsibility
- – Imagination and Playfulness
In what ways are you “like” each of your children? (preferences, tendencies)
Affinities (do you know theirs – learn them)
- – The Joker
- – Star Wars
- – Horses
- – Tiny things
What specific object, or group of them, do you join your child in appreciating?
Affinities can be shared, or simply used by you, to connect to your children through this specific thing because you choose to touch them in that special way. For instance, simply remembering my daughter likes anything small, I can make her a small paper sculpture – just to say “I was thinking of you.”
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
Dad… I want to challenge you! Seek out connection points with each of your children! Write them down and put them somewhere to remind you to make those connections. Do your best to connect with them everyday, and in their individual way, make that connection as often as you can.
Find the connections, and make sure the connectors are connected! Remember, simply thinking about making connections, will bring opportunities for you to connect!
You can do it! C.A.S.T. Your love upon your children today!