Have you ever wondered why soldiers stand at attention? Have you ever had to do this? There is a certain amount of respect woven into standing at attention, and it also eliminates distractions from excess movement and looking around. Much like the idea of folding your hands and closing your eyes to pray – it’s not necessary, but it is very helpful to eliminate something else from distracting away your focus.
Giving your attention to a baby is often easier, than giving your attention to a young child especially when they are awkward and begin to speak without really knowing what they are talking about. Then as they graduate to middle school it becomes even harder to give them your attention because they can never seem to get to the point of what they are trying to say. But I want to encourage you to make a habit of giving your children your attention now, no matter how old they are!
You will build in your children a sense of self-worth when you pay attention to what they say, and give your attention to what is important to them.
If they believe that what they have to say is worth your stopping what you are working on to hear it, then they will have confidence to share with others in their sphere of influence and become a contributor to their “community” as they grow. The reverse is also true.
For the last 2 posts we’ve been talking about C.A.S.T. ing your love on your children. In the last post I gave some suggestions on how to Connect with your kids, which is the “C” in the acronym. Today we are looking at the “A”, Attention.
Do you pay attention? To your children.
What do I mean? …I’m glad you asked
Think about these things, when you talk to your kids:
- Posture
a. Do you stand still, and look them in the face? (remember you are their model of a man)
b. Do you stoop/kneel/crouch to look them in the eye, when they are small?
c. Do you touch them, on the head/arm, to reassure them that you are engaged?
d. Do you match their posture? Or if they are sitting do you stand over them? If they are standing, do you sit comfortably? - Focus (while talking to them:)
a. Is there a TV on, that you might glance at?
b. Do you answer a phone call, or text, or notification on your phone?
c. Can anyone interrupt you and steal your attention from your child?
d. Do you understand what they say? (sometimes it can be discouraging when they don’t make sense, or they are just flat out wrong) Do you repeat what you think you heard? Do you give them ownership? (i.e. “So, you think that… interesting!”) - Time
a. Do you spend enough time listening to them that they feel heard?
b. Is your time, truly, more valuable than theirs? (they will see the truth quickly)
c. Are there times when they can just “talk your ear off?”
d. Do you give them the “time of day?”
Is your child starved for attention? It can be very easy to allow, especially when you get distracted by work, hobbies, and adult concerns. Often that is why kids “act out.” To them negative attention is better than no attention at all. Do you see your child driving for any attention they can get? Perhaps it’s time to up the attention you are paying them when things are good.
For girls, attention can be a factor that sways their purity. What is it that gets them attention? If they don’t get attention at home they will seek it elsewhere, and the media is doing nothing to dissuade them from this! (This topic could be an entire post – or trifecta of them – but for now I will just say it this way.
A girl with appropriate attention from her father will grow to be a confident, secure, stable, human being.
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
Dad… I want to challenge you! Intentionally pay attention to each of your children today! Communicate with them, in a way that will build them up and make them feel like they are worth five-million bucks! (you’ll spend nearly that on them over the course of their life anyway!)
Give your attention to them freely. When they talk, listen. Stop what you are doing, look in their eyes, be still and be quiet and think about what they are saying! Pay attention to your kids. Childhood moves at light-speed, if you’re not careful you’ll miss it!
You can do it! C.A.S.T. Your love upon your children today!