“…but my father made mistakes!”
…and you will make mistakes as a father too …but don’t let that discourage you from engaging in the calling that God has put on your life.
Every day outweigh your mistakes with heroic love and encouragement. Your children are looking for validation and support from their father, and knowing that you can make mistakes, respond accordingly, and still be the man they need you to be is priceless in the bank of family relationship.
Be a part of their daily lives, they will look to you for direction, for encouragement and for validation.
“But my example of a dad…”
Stop comparing yourself to your father. Take the good things he taught you and use them to your advantage, and take the things you wish you could wipe from your memory and use them to your advantage in understanding the impact that certain actions can have on your children, vowing never to be that way.
Too many men, who had good dads, are intimidated by the ‘good man’ that their father was and feel as if they can’t make mistakes and still be a God-honoring father. But you can! Because you will make mistakes, and God knows it. In many ways, it is better, for your kids, that you do make mistakes. The very thing you are feeling right now, if you are one of these type of men, will be what your children feel if you hide from them that you ever make a mistake. There is forgiveness, and that is one of the most important things your kids can learn.
For those of you who had ‘not-so-good’ fathers (or words that I won’t print here kind-of fathers) don’t let the hard-wire connection to your father keep you from thinking that you can be a God-honoring father because of your past.
You can.
Engage!
You can use what God has allowed you to go through to encourage them away from the pitfalls that you have ‘discovered’ in your life. Most likely they are wired similarly, and will fall victim to similar temptations. Looking out for their good, because you know how bad the end of a certain road can be, sounds pretty heroic to me.
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
Dad… I challenge you to engage your children today!
Did you have a bad example?
-If your kids are over 10, tell them how you don’t want to fall victim to things you experienced through the example you had, but then express to them your desire to still be the dad they need!
-If they are under 10, simply lay the foundation of love upon them, using the examples of other men in your life (or the model of C.A.S.T. to cast your love upon them), so that they will not experience the difference. Then plan for intentional action in training them later in life. Plan now, time goes fast.
Did you have a good example?
-If your kids are over 10, tell them stories of what their grandfather used to do, and why you want to be the dad that they need!
-If your kids are under 10, simply implement your favorite memories and set the stage to be able to build them up how you were later in life. Plan now, time goes fast.