Men (and ladies who also read this blog),
Sorry it’s been a while, but if I’m not being this kind of Dad to my kids, then none of this means anything… thanks for your patience, and look for more resources in the days to come! Now, where were we…? Oh, yeah, YOU ARE THE MAN!!
Your children’s concept of what it means to be a man is entirely wrapped up in who you are for the first 3-5 years of their lives, and beyond that it remains, as a filter through which they see all other versions of man.
For example, If you treat your children’s mother with contempt and with a curt tone, your children will think it is an appropriate way to treat other people; how women should be treated. If you live aloof, and make work or hobbies more important than time with your kids, they will believe that tasks, and time, are more important than people. If you “never at any time displease [them] by asking, ‘why have you done thus and so?’” (said of David’s parenting of his son Adonijah (I Kings 1:6)) they will grow up believing that they should have everything they desire, simply because they want it, at the expense of anyone necessary – even you. (Not everything we learn from King David is to good example.)
Along similar lines, your children’s personal behavior is molded by watching your (and mom’s) daily example. When I say daily example, it does largely mean patterns of behavior, but it does NOT EX-clude anomalies in your behavior – especially once they have reached an age of understanding the difference between right and wrong. Remember the initial hard-wire says ‘Dad doesn’t do wrong,’ …but you do, and when you do, make sure that you show remorse, and ask for forgiveness, thereby giving a great example of repentance.
Of all the comprehension, I had of the “monkey-see monkey-do” reality of parenting, I was still surprised in my own life at how my children are becoming nearly carbon copies of how I handle situations, especially those that don’t go the way I would like (probably because those are the ones that I don’t handle well). This continues to be a shocking reality of how I am the Man of the house.
This is a glimpse into how being “The Man” is not as glamorous as the music industry wants to make it. This, too, is why the husband is the head of the household, just like Christ is head of the church – because He took on all the responsibility for His people.
As final instructions to the church in Corinth, the Apostle Paul leaves the church with a charge, he says, “Be watchful, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong. Let all you do be done in love.”
Remember, when Paul says act like men, he doesn’t mean scratch your butt, burp, and watch football. This is why the definition from Robert Lewis is so important to me and my family. And be sure not to forget: “let all you do be done in love.” There will be times their mother doesn’t agree with you, especially on personal preferences because women think differently than we do, but if you let all you do be done in love you will always be seeking a similar direction.
So, why have I said all this? Because I want to encourage you to:
Be the man, today, you want your son to become; your daughter to marry.
You ARE the man. So, be the man! Take a stand on what is right, and lead your family through responsibility, courage, and keeping your eyes on Jesus. Don’t be passive. Don’t make excuses why you can’t… just do it. Be the Man of your house.