What do you do about something you want to understand? …like a new diet, or a new work-out plan? How about the latest stock trends, or political crisis? You research right? You study.
How about your children? …or your wife? Do you want to know them?
How well do you know your child(ren)? Are you familiar with their preferences, and their skills? Knowing your children is a necessary component to being able to train them in the way they should walk.
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it”
…the pronoun used for your child is singular. The way he should go. I believe this means not only to teach them right from wrong and to follow Jesus Christ, but also to follow the path that is set for him(her)… specifically… the way he/she should go, based on your prayers to the One who made them the way they are… on purpose …for a purpose.
How is your specific child wired? Or as I like to say “bent?” Are they strongly inclined to enjoy, or excel in, a specific side of social life, leisure activities, academics , ministry etc. Do you know how they are “bent?” Then perhaps its time you take to study.
So how do you study your child? I’m glad you asked.
First and foremost, spend time with them. Observe and learn what they like, what they don’t like, what they find funny, what they find embarrassing, how they solve problems, how they deal with complications. These things will be clues in how they are wired. This information is valuable, not so that you can criticize or make them feel less because of their deficiencies, but so that you can identify their strengths and foster them. The weaknesses that you will inevitably identify are places for you to support them and show them the grace that you have received.
Books like 8 Great Smarts & The Five Love Languages have proven to be very helpful in discovering what “language” my child is speaking.
Keep in mind that discovering their “bent” will be a process as they develop. The majors don’t change but preferences and ideals do. This is why study is so important, because kids change their minds as often as they change their clothes (which if you have girls can be a mind-blowing thought). So it’s not a matter of what they think, but of what you have observed and studied.
As they get into adolescence, books like Strengths Finder, and Personality Plus become very useful in narrowing down the specifics of their path, a plan to help them travel it, and goals to inspire them along the way.
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
Dad… I challenge you to make a plan to know your children! This is not something that happens in a one-day challenge but take this weekend to develop a plan to get to know them over then next few years. Start now, it goes fast! If you need help, get yourself a copy of one or all of the books that I’ve mentioned above.
You can do it! Develop a plan to know your children better! …so that you can C.A.S.T. your love on them in an way that makes an impact.