Name Calling …but Reversed! (1 of 3)

Photo by Jon Tyson

How many times have you heard that name calling is a bad thing? It is true, the father who calls his daughter names that demean her gender, or make parts of her body to be focused upon instead of modestly de-emphasized will not benefit her development. Just as calling your son names that emasculate him will undermine the concept of raising him to be a man. So, be very careful of the flippant things you say to your children. Even misunderstood sarcasm, can dig-in especially if it is the opposite of what they are trying to become; you are trying to teach them to be.

…but that’s not what I’m looking to emphasis here.

Like many things, name calling is more about the intention behind it that makes it good or bad. Remember your kids can be very intuitive when it comes to what you really mean by what you’re saying (though it never hurts to double-check).

On the flip side, edifying names can be very beneficial (and remove any doubt about what you really mean)! I have names for my daughters that edify and encourage them. Names like “Jewel” and “Gem” that remind them that they are My Treasure, and that I will protect them like a dragon guarding its valuables.

Not only do I simply call them names, but they know the story behind the names as well. I made them aware of a dragon’s fierce desire to guard his treasure, and the symbolism of breathing fire on anyone who seeks to steal, or hurt his treasure. This symbolism can be a powerful tool, to express a large concept with simple word-pictures that represent the entirety of the emotional truth. I even went as far as to write a book for them called A Magnificent Treasure.  A tool that is available here.  I have had a number of dads that have donned the title “Dragon” because of this book, and in turn they speak to their daughters as their “Treasures.”

My son, Steven, likes Captain America …a lot.  Ever since we watched the first movie, Captain America, The First Avenger, I have related him to the character of Steve Rogers. He is quite edified by being referred to as “Capt’n,” because it links him to a small, skinny kid with a heart of a lion who becomes the hero of the story. He is, after all, the small skinny kid who wants to be much more. I can edify him that he is that hero, and has the ability to be much more, simply by calling him “Capt’n.”

I will confess to you, that my oldest son, Wesley, has expressed to me a bit of jealousy that his sisters had names that endeared them to me, and I to them, but he did not. This, in itself, illustrates the benefit of using symbolism and word-pictures to express what you think of your child(ren), and how much the children have gravitated to it. Even at his age (16 at the time) he sees and desires to have that for himself.

You know your kids better than I do, so pick titles/names for them that have to do with what they like, that also embody characteristics you see in them already, characteristics of your love for them, or ones you would like to see in them.