What do you do when your teenager is wrong, and cannot seem to accept it? When they keep pushing back even though you try to correct them, or guide them, into the appropriate action? Or even further when your teenager, or adult child, will not hear your guidance as the voice of truth?
I want to encourage my wife, myself, and anyone reading this, that staying the course and standing on what we know to be true – especially in the midst of push back – is the best course of action during these trying years. I say this from experience, but also from conversations I’ve had with other parents of teens, parents of wayward adult children, and my parents. Analyzing my personal journey back from teenage rebellion, the trigger was this:
I realized my parents were right!
But how can your children realize that you are right, if you are not standing on what is right? if you’ve caved in, to the tongue-lashing your teenager is giving you? or responding in “like kind” to their vindictive fits or dramatic exits – who’s the adult here anyway?
Think about it this way:
A wayward child has to have a stable point to which they can find their way back.
Like a lighthouse that marks where the immovable rock lies, stand on what is right so that the children will have a place to return to when they realize the error of their ways, the consequences get to much for them to handle, or (best case scenario ) they see the light and choose the safe way home.
I’m sure you’ve heard the parable of “The Prodigal Son,” from Luke 15. The return of the prodigal had to do with the son’s realization of his father’s character, and the conditions his father affords to those around him (and he was referring to his father’s hired servants, who do what they were told!).
So the question is, do I stand firm on what is right? Please don’t mistake the word firm for forceful, or aggressive, like I have. Rock is firm, but it doesn’t have to yell or argue that it is the appropriate place to stand. My fervency for my children to make appropriate choices, has often sparked anger, or argument. I have learned that this is the opposite of what I’m trying to do.
A lighthouse, simply stands aloft and warns incoming ships. The ship captain still has the ability to choose whether or not they want to heed the warning, but the lighthouse doesn’t move. The truth of it is, a lighthouse is an immovable beacon on of the the rocks of life. Be that for your kids!
When a sailor returns to a home harbor from months at sea, they long to see the lighthouse, because it signals they are home! If you have a wayward child, or one you fear will become wayward, I want to encourage you:
Stand firm on your convictions, do it in love, be the man you were Created to be, and let God turn their ship around.
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
Dad… I challenge you to make sure your lighthouse is shining for your kids today. Be the immovable lighthouse, guiding them to safety, and signifying where “home” is. Shower them with your love, not a pampering love, but one that seeks their best in every circumstance… even if (especially if) it is something that will be difficult (remember how diamonds are made?).
You can do it! Stand firm on what is right, so that they can look back a realize, as I did, “Dad was right!” …and come back!