It is amazing to me how my children take something that I say, sometimes flippantly or only once, and they form a strong opinion around that notion. I once talked candidly about my distaste for onions in a Taco Bell burrito, I mentioned how difficult and surprising it was to be enjoying the smooth refried beans across my lips, and then, CRUNCH! there is a rogue onion that destroys the experience. Since I related that story to my boys, several years ago, I have learned to like onions in many things – including burritos. But guess what? They continue to be opposed to the concept of smooth with a surprising crunch, even transferring that concept to something their mother had made just recently. To this day, my oldest will pick out any type of onion that he can see in his food.
All that to say, I created a concept in their minds that stated: ‘when food is inconsistent, in this way, it is not desirable.’ They took the personal preference and said, ‘Oh, that must be ‘bad,’ because Dad knows how things work.’
It happens in preferences all the time. When you see a child standing strongly on one side of an opinion about something that is usually neutral for most children, odds are their parents are of that mind. Children are great imitators and they will do what you do, preferences or not. It’s true in food, in sports team loyalty, in political views, and in humor. Did you have to tell your children to cheer for the football team that you enjoy watching? Odds are that they developed the affinity for them simply because you get excited over them. Because “that’s how it works.”
Ray Romano was on a talk show one night as I was flipping through channels, and as I watched the interview Ray began to speak of how he used to sit with his father as he watched old Rodney Dangerfield comedy. The father content obviously intrigued me, so I continued to watch how he explained his father’s impact on his life. Romano specifically said, ‘I watched my dad laugh at this guy, and I thought to myself this must be what funny is.’ If you know Ray Romano at all, much of his comedy has to do with the same content as Dangerfield’s, because “that’s what funny is according to dad.'” For good or ill your children will look to you for the meaning of so many things, because “you are the man they look up to.” Use that knowledge wisely.