About three years ago, I had an opportunity to be part of a mission trip to Nicaragua, with my son. We went to the informational meeting primarily for my son Wesley who was 15 at the time, and part of his “15 Year Challenge” include going on a mission trip that year. At the meeting, which was held by a gentleman whom I had known for a few years, at that point. He expressed to the group that this particular trip was more about building up the local pastors and staff, than it would be about building and outreach. After the meeting he came up to me and told me that I would be a great asset to the team because of my background in teaching, and teaching teachers to teach, in our children’s ministry.
As it turned out both my son and I went together – a great opportunity! I was tasked with giving a workshop on what it means to be a father, and my son was able to team teach with me. As we discussed the content we would present I spoke to him candidly one day about my fathering. Rather than simply asking him how I was doing (which I did ask at a later time), I asked him how much it meant to him that I was simply trying to teach him what it means to be a man. His answer was,
“It’s everything.”
With those simple words, and my understanding of who he is and how he thinks, I was edified immensely toward being a better father than I was the day before. This from the mouth of my son, who proceeded to candidly explain his point of view on my parenting, our traditions, and his childhood based on his perception of what he saw around him. I had invited him to explain, and he did so in a way that reinforced the concepts the Bible speaks of, and what God has personally shown me (that coincide with His word) as solid foundational truths to his childhood. This was a great conversation at 16 years old (though he was thinking more like an 18-year-old at that point).
Simply trying to do your best means a lot to your children. When they become adults, they will be able to decipher between neglect, and inability. Especially if they grow up knowing you have functioned in sincerity toward them and their concerns. You can be a great father, you have been chosen to be one. Just try!
Meg Meeker, M.D., (Pediatric Medicine) in her book “Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters,” when she is first addressing her audience, she lays out the truth of this concept:
“I have watched and listened to your daughters for many years and have heard what they say about you. I have talked to countless fathers. I have treated daughters and counseled families. I have read psychiatry texts, research papers, psychology journals, religious studies, and pediatric journals. Doing this has been my job. But I will tell you that no research paper, no textbook diagnosis, no instructions can begin to change a young girl’s life as dramatically as even a handful of interactions with her father. Nothing.”
Does that begin to help you understand what you have been chosen for? It’s a great calling, and the reality of it is, if sovereign God has given you a child (by your desire or not) He has called you to be a father!
“WE ARE MEN OF ACTION…”
So Dad… I challenge you to step out of your comfort zone and engage your child(ren) today! Find out their favorite food, and get it for them, play their favorite game with them, have them tell you the most amazing thing that happened to them this month, or discover what their dream vacation would be and start to plan.
You can do it! Just try, engage with them today on their level – what they like/want to do.